Okay, so this entry may sound a little “preachy”…if it does… and you read it and get a little annoyed…Tough!
So, here is the deal…I just saw a commercial for a new movie that is coming out - the movie is called “Date Night”. It co-stars Tina Fey and Steve Carell. They were two of our (me and Jen‘s) all-time favorites. We both loved “30 Rock” and “The Office” - they are both very talented performers. This would have been a movie that we would have definitely gone to see.
A Perfect Saturday Night
Here is my definition of a perfect Saturday date night. Getting a baby-sitter and going to dinner at our favorite restaurant. It‘s not a fancy place, it‘s a very family friendly Italian restaurant (DeNunzios) that we went to all the time. We would both order a glass of wine and ultimately end up talking about anything that came to mind.
The tables were covered by big sheets of white paper and the host/hostess would leave crayons that you could draw on the paper. We would always end up trying to out-draw each other…the waiter/waitresses always got a kick of how detailed our drawings would be.
After dinner we would order desert (something totally unhealthy but delicious) and split it. One plate and two forks, we would order a cappuccino and then head to the movies. We didn’t get to see very many movies (just the two of us) that weren’t produced by Disney or Pixar so something good was a real treat. The kind of movie that when you walked out at the end you squeezed each others hand just a little tighter.
The Preachy Part
We (Jen and I) were married for 12 years; together for 15...marriage is tough. It’s a constant give and take by both parts. Our marriage was not perfect, but I like to think it was pretty darn good. To all you couples out there whether married or just dating…go have a “Date Night”. Don’t roll your eyes or sigh deeply…know this…and here is the part where I make you feel like crap…especially if you did roll your eyes or sigh deeply…I would give anything to have one more “Date Night” with Jen.
Forget about the laundry that didn't get washed, the house that is a mess and the million and one things that need to be done. Life is friggin short…don’t take it for granted folks. Get a babysitter, grab your best gal or guy, and go have a Date Night. Enjoy each others company and realize how fortunate you really are…
I love it, Bill - and it's not "preachy" it's the truth. Dan and I make a point of not only having "date nights" but at least 3 times a year we have a "get away weekend" just the two of us. Sometimes we just pick a B&B that is close by and sometimes we hop on a plane. As you know, last month we went to San Antonio together to celebrate my Birthday. We stayed at a lovely hotel on the Riverwalk and kicked back - just the two of us. Of course we also do "date nights" too. It's really important to take the time to reconnect. Thanks for sharing this thought and reminding us.
ReplyDeleteVery direct and well-spoken. Life is short. Those who have experienced loss know firsthand. In fact, your advice should be taken to heart by many. Your date nights with your wife sounded great, btw. Did you ever save any of those "portraits"? - albeit probably covered with pasta sauce :-).
ReplyDeleteDate night? I would take a date minute. I have a million questions that I'd love to ask Sara. Some I should have already asked on those date nights. I only got to say, "love ya, bye" on the phone really quick. She was close to home, but she never made it. The anguish I experienced that night, is the nightmare evey couple fears. So, when I see a couple, "wasting" the time they have, I definetly want to jump in and say, "do you think thats worth it". However, if I were to do it every time, I'd have no breath or friends. So I guess, "love em if ya got em"!
ReplyDeleteHello Bill,
ReplyDeleteI don't know you at all but I have been frequenting blogs dedicated to grief for a few weeks as I am dealing with a profound loss myself.
I stumbled across your blog and began reading your family story. I am terribly sorry for you and your daughters loss. You have a lot of strength to be sharing your story and it really does help others. Even though I have a different loss story-- I am comforted to see that life goes on. As tough as it is sometimes (or all the time)
I will be thinking a lot of your and your family. Take care
Jessica