Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Common Sayings

I know the last few entries haven’t exactly been uplifting or inspiring so I am going to attempt to lighten things up just a little. As the proud father of two awesome and adorable little girls I find that I say things at times and think to myself “man, I can’t believe I just said that”. Here are some of the common things that I seem to say a lot…and I hope that I am not saying these things when they are teenagers.

“Girls, please go put on some pants”

“Girls, it’s 30 degrees outside you can not wear shorts today”.

“Go put on some underwear”

“Can you two please put some friggin clothes on?”

“No, you may not wear a towel to school”

“Or your robe”

“No, for the last time, PJ’s do not count as an outfit, now go put on something else”

“I don’t care what {insert name here} says, you are not doing that”

“Come on goofballs”

“Here comes the bus”

“No, you may not wear your spring jacket, it’s winter time”

“Yes kiddo, that was a big poopy, good job”

“Yes, kiddo the tooth fairy never forgets”

“Yeah, yeah, okay I agree girls, Hanna Montana rocks, so does Miranda Cosgrove and Big Time Rush, now please go get ready for bed“

“Yes, you have to use soap in the bath tub ‘

“Try it, you may actually like it”

“It taste just like a chicken nugget, so just try it”

“No there are no monsters under the bed or in the closet”

“For the last time, there are no monsters in this house”

“Look, I sent the monsters over to {insert some bratty kids name here] house so don’t worry about it”

“Patience is a virtue”

“You know what happens to bad little girls…they go to little girls jail”

“Inside voice, inside voice….use your INSIDE VOICE!!!”

"Yes, I do know everything!!!"

"Because, I'm the Dad, that's why"

Star Wars References…

“Patience my young Padawan”

“Don’t give in to the dark side”

“Abbie / Allie - I am your father”

“I don’t know girls, I have a bad feeling about this’

“You can do it, just use the force”

I hope you enjoyed reading these…I was actually laughing and smirking as I typed them. They are awesome kids…and life is never dull in this house…


  1. Well - the tooth fairy has forgotten (been extremely busy) at our house, and sometimes doesn't make it until night #2 (or #3). I know you are surprised!

  2. I love it ;). What is it with kids and being clothed? Even at 12 and 16 I find myself saying...

    "Please, please will you pull your pants UP!"

    "No that doesn't match, try again. No, that doesn't either...Okay I will pick out your outfit (insert screaming NO!)"

    "Did you shower?"
    "Yes...well I didn't wash my hair...No, I didn't shower actually".

    And having boys, my all time favorite...

    "It looks like you slept in that?!?"
    "I did."

  3. I hope you don't send the monsters to our house. That's the last thing we need here!

    Nice post - I laughed out loud.

  4. Those were funny. I love your girls!
    But, it is too bad you didn't have boys, you would have heard
    "do not fart in your sisters face"
    "your pee pee is not a rubberband, stop stretching it"
    "do not rub your pee pee on the floor"
    "you do not need to shoot your poop, its not a game"

    You get the idea. Gotta love these kids. They sure do humble us.


Inside Bill's Head -- Previously Known as (Inside the Head of a Grieving Single Dad)

In August of 2009 my wife Jennifer passed away from an Anaplastic Astrocytoma Brain Tumor. She was only 38 years old. She left me and our two little girls Abbie and Allie to continue life’s journey.

I promised her that I would NOT become angry and bitter about what happened...in order to do that I am attempting to write to express my thoughts and feelings.

This site is a place where I can express my thoughts, feelings and rants...