Sunday, August 29, 2010

Stupid FB

As stupid as it sounds...this is a very monumental milestone for me... I changed my FaceBook status tonight. It sounds so silly and minor yet I waited a year to do it.

Here are the messages you get when you change your status.

Status change to Widowed:
Your relationship with Jennifer Heid Applegate will be canceled upon saving.
Why...WHY does this bother me so much...I don't want to cancel my relationship...I just think it's a very poor choice of words. My "relationship" will never be cancelled...because I have two amazing children whom I wouldn't have if not for my wife.


You can change your status to Blank and here is the message:
We will request confirmation of this relationship change from Jennifer Heid Applegate upon saving.
Yeah, you can request all you wife won't be receiving a conformation request from her.

Again, very insensitive...and a little frustrating...whatever...maybe I'm reading way too much into's been a's been a year...

Friday, August 27, 2010

A Year

I have written and rewritten this entry multiple times. I have much to say but honestly, I’m struggling with how to express it.

One year ago today Jen passed away. I am NOT doing anything special today. I choose NOT to commemorate the day my wife died. I would prefer to remember her vibrant spirit, full of energy smile and the person that she was on a day like her birthday or Mother’s day…not the day she was taken away from us.

I think we are doing okay, the girls and me. Abbie knows that Jen passed away right after her birthday and we have talked about it. She even knows that today is the day Jen died. She’s such an amazing and mature little girl. Allie is what I would classify a typical carefree 6year old kid. She’s full of life and energy and seems to be doing well.

I was going to write all this profound stuff but honestly, I can't find the right words. We miss you Jen and we love you...we do. I hope that wherever you are...that you are at peace.

Monday, August 9, 2010

Busy Week, Busy Weekend

I had dinner last week with a couple of the people in my Caring Place session. It was nice to get out and see them in a social setting. We had dinner and talked about things…how things were going, the good, the bad and everything in between. The folks I met up with are also going back for another session at the Caring Place in the fall so it will be nice to have some familiar faces in the sessions.

It’s a different kind of club. People who have lost a spouse “get it” and understand “it”. It’s different from getting divorced or just having things not work out. It’s hard to explain but nice to know others are in your situation. My point being that it’s just nice to meet other folks who are like you and are doing okay.

What a busy chronological order.

Helped a friend move on Friday (including packing and unpacking), Allie attended a birthday party on Saturday in the early afternoon, hosted a birthday party for thirteen people for the family patriarch (Jen’s Grandfather - was his 98th b-day), Abbie had a birthday party to attend on Sunday, squeezed in some quality pool time on Sunday afternoon, grilled up some dinner on Sunday night with good friends and wrapped up with the NFL pre-season kickoff in the evening to end a whirlwind weekend.

Okay, probably about 20 grammatical errors in that long winded sentence / paragraph but that was the weekend…And of course…I have to mention that the weekend is NOT successful without the help of my family and friends. Everyone pitched in to help with the organization, the setup, cleanup and everything else. It was truly an exercise in cross-dependency collaboration amongst family and friends.

Monday, August 2, 2010

Featured Dad

A couple of months ago I was contacted by the person who founded and runs a website for Single Dad’s.

The website is:

I was skeptical at first but after trading emails back and forth and browsing through the website I was impressed. It’s a great resource for Single Father’s. I was asked to consider being a “Featured Dad” and at first didn’t feel worthy of an honor like that. After talking about it with a good friend of mine I submitted my story to the editor of the site.

So, for the month of August 2010 - I am the Featured Dad of the Month on Single Super Dad’…check it out…the article is too long to post on the blog so you will have to follow the link to the site.

Inside Bill's Head -- Previously Known as (Inside the Head of a Grieving Single Dad)

In August of 2009 my wife Jennifer passed away from an Anaplastic Astrocytoma Brain Tumor. She was only 38 years old. She left me and our two little girls Abbie and Allie to continue life’s journey.

I promised her that I would NOT become angry and bitter about what order to do that I am attempting to write to express my thoughts and feelings.

This site is a place where I can express my thoughts, feelings and rants...