Saturday, February 27, 2010

Six Months

It has been six months today…and I have kept my promise. I have not turned into a bitter and angry person. It has not been easy…but I have kept my promise. My intention was to write something very meaningful, significant or truly inspirational…but this is all I have offer.

I have so much to say…so much that I want to say…to you Jen. Honestly, it’s one of the hardest things to cope with. Their is so much I want to tell you. So many things I want to discuss, funny stories, something that happened at work, something that one of the girls did or said, or just discuss the day's events...but you aren’t there. I tell you anyway…but it just isn’t the same.

I have been doing a lot of reflecting and evaluating of many things. I feel like I'm searching for answers that I know I won't find. I feel sort of lost. My thoughts and emotions are all over the board.

At least with a divorce it's okay to be a little angry, or a lot angry depending on the circumstance, and disappointed. I can't be angry, who am I going to be angry at...cancer...God... and I know it's not healthy. I can't walk around disappointed because I know I have to go on.

Our future as a couple and a family was so bright. It was filled with so much potential for all of us. We had so many things we wanted to do and I don't know if I necessarily want to do them without was just be weird.

From what I can tell the girls are doing okay. I make a point to talk about you every day. It might be some silly story or memory or just to tell them "that's what your Mom would have done". I will never let them forget…as for me…I am doing my best to keep it together.

It’s been six months…

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Inside Bill's Head -- Previously Known as (Inside the Head of a Grieving Single Dad)

In August of 2009 my wife Jennifer passed away from an Anaplastic Astrocytoma Brain Tumor. She was only 38 years old. She left me and our two little girls Abbie and Allie to continue life’s journey.

I promised her that I would NOT become angry and bitter about what order to do that I am attempting to write to express my thoughts and feelings.

This site is a place where I can express my thoughts, feelings and rants...