Monday, February 22, 2010

Problem Solver

Something really puzzles me…why is it that I can make others feel good but can’t make myself feel happy?

I am a Dad first thing in the morning, a software manager all day, a Dad again at night and a friend in the hours in between.

I listen to problems all day…all sorts of problems. Project related, budgetary, work issues, personality conflicts, personal employee issues etc. I listen, analyze, ask questions, break them down and offer “logical” points of view. People leave my office and thank me for taking the time to listen, for letting them vent, for lending a non-biased ear, for offering a plan, for making them feel better. Why, why, WHY can I do that for everyone except myself?

I have had coworkers tell me things that just “blow my mind” from both a business and a personal point of view. Yet I listen and offer advice and suggestions. I can make my kids feel better with a hug and kiss and some encouraging words. Yet no matter what I say to myself…it just does not take.

Maybe because I make a point to always make eye contact with people when they speak. Maybe it is because I am a good listener. Maybe it is because I genuinely like to help people. Maybe it is because I am willing to fix mistakes others have made, but cannot admit my own defeats…I do not know.

I am a realist. Maybe that has something to do with it. When people confide in me, I do not hold back any punches. I tell them what I think. I am not harsh about it, but I do not sugarcoat things. If I feel they are wrong, I tell them “I think you were wrong“. If they messed up, I help them devise a plan to fix the situation, but I am honest with them. People really appreciate honesty that is one of the most valuable lessons I have learned.

So, I am an honest realist who cannot make himself feel good or happy by executing on what I seem to be able to do easily for others.

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Inside Bill's Head -- Previously Known as (Inside the Head of a Grieving Single Dad)

In August of 2009 my wife Jennifer passed away from an Anaplastic Astrocytoma Brain Tumor. She was only 38 years old. She left me and our two little girls Abbie and Allie to continue life’s journey.

I promised her that I would NOT become angry and bitter about what order to do that I am attempting to write to express my thoughts and feelings.

This site is a place where I can express my thoughts, feelings and rants...