Problem Solver

Something really puzzles me…why is it that I can make others feel good but can’t make myself feel happy?


I am a Dad first thing in the morning, a software manager all day, a Dad again at night and a friend in the hours in between.


I listen to problems all day…all sorts of problems. Project related, budgetary, work issues, personality conflicts, personal employee issues etc. I listen, analyze, ask questions, break them down and offer “logical” points of view. People leave my office and thank me for taking the time to listen, for letting them vent, for lending a non-biased ear, for offering a plan, for making them feel better. Why, why, WHY can I do that for everyone except myself?


I have had coworkers tell me things that just “blow my mind” from both a business and a personal point of view. Yet I listen and offer advice and suggestions. I can make my kids feel better with a hug and kiss and some encouraging words. Yet no matter what I say to myself…it just does not take.


Maybe because I make a point to always make eye contact with people when they speak. Maybe it is because I am a good listener. Maybe it is because I genuinely like to help people. Maybe it is because I am willing to fix mistakes others have made, but cannot admit my own defeats…I do not know.


I am a realist. Maybe that has something to do with it. When people confide in me, I do not hold back any punches. I tell them what I think. I am not harsh about it, but I do not sugarcoat things. If I feel they are wrong, I tell them “I think you were wrong“. If they messed up, I help them devise a plan to fix the situation, but I am honest with them. People really appreciate honesty that is one of the most valuable lessons I have learned.


So, I am an honest realist who cannot make himself feel good or happy by executing on what I seem to be able to do easily for others.