Tuesday, February 16, 2010


I told a friend of mine shortly after Jen passed away that I was kicking around the idea of writing a book. I started keeping a journal shortly after Jen was diagnosed and have continued with the personal journal and this blog. There are quite a few books out there for grieving wives, but not that many for grieving husbands, particularly “younger” grieving husbands. There are tons and tons of book about how to handle grief, the steps of grief, what do while grieving etc and please I hope no one takes offense to this but most of those books are very spiritual in nature and all revolve around finding religion.

Now, I do NOT want to go down the religious path…if religion works for you…awesome, that’s great. I am not a religious person, neither was Jen. I basically believe that one should seriously try to treat others the way that you would like to be treated in return.

If my experiences could help some younger grieving person, especially a younger grieving father, then that would honestly make me feel better. I’m a very emotional person and I most definitely wear my heart on my sleeve. It’s never difficult to tell what I am feeling, but I am also very strong and determined. I take my promise that I made to Jennifer very serious - that I will not become an angry and bitter person. If my experiences both before and after her passing could somehow benefit others, that would be good…and something good has to come from all of this.

The book would not be about finding religion - it would be about picking yourself back up and starting over. I’m not a doctor offering advice. I am an average person. I’m the guy you work with. I’m the guy that coaches his daughter’s soccer team. I’m the guy whose wife died and I’m the guy who has to go on. Believe me I have “googled” and searched Amazon.com and read a ton of book reviews – if this type of book is out there, I certainly haven’t seen it…maybe it needs to be written…maybe I’m that guy.


  1. I found your blog threw callapiter (amy) and I read it last night. So sad and sorry for you and your children...but I couldnt sleep last night because of what you said about "religion". I am NO way going to preach or an overly religious person. I do believe in God and love Him dearly. But I prayed for you last night that someday when your ready you will talk to God about your situation. He is the ONLY one who will ever be able to bring you peace! I will continue to pray for you and your children..God Bless

  2. I think a book is a great idea!! Perhaps, you could start an on line forum maybe for young widowed fathers?

    "Happiness Redefined: A young Widower's perspective on grief"

    Author Bill Applegate


  3. I'm so happy that you have delved into writing, Bill! Your perspective is fresh, raw and someone in a similiar situation would greatly benefit.
    I'm so proud of you. Re: religion. A wise person once told me, "Lose religion, find God." I agree w/ our Gram A.'s outlook. Find beauty in the cardinal or flower outside your window. Treat others with kindness and devote each day to helping anyone w/ a small act of kindness. That is all any of us can do.:)

  4. I am sorry to hear about your loss. I recently just lost me husband of 5 years and am too searching for help through the grief. I did locate a book on amazon called godless grief. You may want to look into it.


Inside Bill's Head -- Previously Known as (Inside the Head of a Grieving Single Dad)

In August of 2009 my wife Jennifer passed away from an Anaplastic Astrocytoma Brain Tumor. She was only 38 years old. She left me and our two little girls Abbie and Allie to continue life’s journey.

I promised her that I would NOT become angry and bitter about what happened...in order to do that I am attempting to write to express my thoughts and feelings.

This site is a place where I can express my thoughts, feelings and rants...