Thursday, April 22, 2010
Random Rants, Ramblings and Realizations
While I love Spring time I can’t stand the site of orange barrels and cones on the Parkway all spring and summer long. It makes travel into the city absolutely dreadful!!!
People who smoke and then throw their cigarette butts on the ground piss me off. News flash - believe it or not the ground is not your ashtray. If you choose to smoke put your butts in a friggin ashtray.
I am NOT a Steelers fan so of course I’m a little prejudice here…but this Ben Roethisberger thing bothers me. I do not think I want my young daughters wearing their Big Ben jersey’s anymore.
Is it really too much to ask for people to hold a door once in while. I know I sound “old” or “old fashion” but people, especially younger people, are seriously lacking in etiquette and manners.
I love that my kids have so much fun playing soccer…I hope their interest and enthusiasm continues.
I can’t figure out why / how I can watch a movie over and over and still enjoy it again and again (Goodfellas, Rocky, Sixteen Candles, and many, many more)
I find myself taking a lot of mental snapshots lately, especially of cool, little meaningful moments with the girls.
I love the fact that my girls dig spending time with me and always want to do something with me (I know this won’t last, so I am enjoying while it does)
I continue to be amazed how mean little girls are to each other. The “clicks” and the “cattiness” is mean and hurtful…and it just pisses me off. Especially when I see some of the parents - the apple definitely doesn’t fall far from the tree. TRANSLATION…look here mean little girl just because your Mom is a total stuck up snobby bitch…it doesn’t mean you have to be. That’s what I want to say…but of course do not.
I seem to take two steps forward…then a big step back…
I honestly do think that there is something to the karma thing…
I don’t get why I can feel so much for other people and their problems and situations, but yet be so damn hard on myself…without a doubt I am my own worst enemy.
I just want to feel…happy again…so….so bad…
Things I Have Come to Realize
I have come to realize that I can NOT speed up or expedite the grieving process in any way. This is extremely frustrating for me, but I have to just let it happen.
I have some amazing and insightful friends who care very deeply for me and my kids!
One of the secrets…maybe ingredients is a better word…to happiness is…having good friends and just letting it all go once in a while.
I need to start trusting people again. The few folks, who know me well, also know that I have huge issues in trusting people. In order to trust someone you have to be open to the thought of being letdown or getting hurt…this will be a huge step for me, but I believe it will ultimately be beneficial.
I also have to learn to expect less from people to avoid letdowns and just accept it.
Inside Bill's Head -- Previously Known as (Inside the Head of a Grieving Single Dad)
In August of 2009 my wife Jennifer passed away from an Anaplastic Astrocytoma Brain Tumor. She was only 38 years old. She left me and our two little girls Abbie and Allie to continue life’s journey.
I promised her that I would NOT become angry and bitter about what happened...in order to do that I am attempting to write to express my thoughts and feelings.
This site is a place where I can express my thoughts, feelings and rants...