Well I have a new name…the winner is
Inside Bill’s Head
Along with a new title I obviously need a new blog description.
Background
I was a widower. I am now a remarried man. I am a husband, a Dad and a Stepdad. I lost my first wife to an Anaplastic Astrocytoma grade 3 / 4 brain tumor in 2009. It was 22 months from diagnosis to her passing away. Our daughter’s were 4 and 6 at the time.
I am now remarried to a wonderful woman who also happens to be my best friend. She has two children from a previous marriage. Now it’s the six of us starting our new journey together...the updated Brady Bunch meets Modern Family type of household. We are all different in our own little and not so little ways, but together we make a nice uniquely blended family.
I am attempting to keep things as “normal” as possible... for all six of us. My hope is that this blog helps out other people. We are all getting use to becoming a new family and dealing with the changes, the challenges and the new responsibilities involved in merging two households. If my ramblings, rants and thoughts can help someone else out…that would be good.
The Purpose Behind the Blog
Their seems to be plenty of material out there for woman who have lost their husbands, but not so much for men who have lost their wives. I also want people to know that things will improve and get better. Life will never be the same as it was before, but it will get better. If someone would have told me that 12 or 18 months ago I would thought them to be a fool…it does get better. I want people to read this and hopefully find some sort of encouragement that things can and will improve.
Everyone has their own way to cope and deal with things. There is no set schedule, no time frame, no period as to when and how long one will feel a certain way. Don’t let people tell you when and how to feel…follow your gut, instincts, mind and heart…only YOU truly know what’s best for you. I am not saying don’t listen to others. Listen and hear their advice, their words but keep in mind that no matter what other people say or think only YOU truly know what’s going on in the deep dark places within your mind and heart. It will be a rollercoaster ride. Their will be ups and downs along the way…just try not to get too far in any one direction.
My Journey
Our (me and my girls) journey has been filled with challenges, some of which I have tried to share on this blog…others were kept private since they were either a little too personal or too painful to share. It’s not the things that you plan for to handle it’s the little unexpected gotcha’s that are hardest to deal with.
I have dried my share of tears from little cheeks, wrapped my arms around my girls and given the biggest hugs I can supply. I have tried to listen, comfort and explain things to the best of my ability with empathy and understanding. I have tried to put myself in their shoes (my girls) and think about how scary things are in this big, big world. But most of all I have tried to supply them with as much love as possible so that they KNOW we (All three of us) would make it through this…TOGETHER!
I Refuse
I said it before on this blog…I flat out REFUSE to let this be the defining moment of their young lives…FLAT OUT REFUSE!!! I will not allow them to forget their mother and how much she loved them, but I want them to understand that it’s okay to move on as well. We all have to go on…finding a proper balance is the key. It’s a fine line to walk…VERY FINE…many times…with them…with friends…with family…and with woman who I love now…my wife. I feel very fortunate to have met someone who cares so deeply for my girls. The love, caring and compassion she shows them is awesome.
I do hope this blog helps other people. I hope others who stumble upon it, read it and find at least a very small glimmer of hope…and start to think that it will get better.
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Monday, May 9, 2011
A New Title
Time to Change the Name
So it just dawned on me that I need to change the title of my blog. After next week I will no longer be single so “Inside the Head of a Grieving Single Dad” doesn’t work anymore.
Some possible new titles…
- Bill’s Blog
- Inside Bill’s Head
- Bill’s Modern Family
- My New Modern Family
- My Version of Modern Family
- Remarried Widower
- A Remarried Widower’s Take on His New Modern Family
- From Three to Six
- New Beginnings
- From a Widower to a Modern Family
Any of the above still seem better then “Inside the Head of a Widower with two little girls who is now remarried and the father of two little girls, a stepdaughter and a stepson”, but I need to think it through a little more.
Any comments or feedback is welcomed…I’m leaning towards either “From Three to Six”…sounds kind of cool to me… or “A Remarried Widower’s Take on His New Modern Family”…keeps the old blog theme or simply “Bill’s Blog”…which is simple, but also kind of boring.
So it just dawned on me that I need to change the title of my blog. After next week I will no longer be single so “Inside the Head of a Grieving Single Dad” doesn’t work anymore.
Some possible new titles…
- Bill’s Blog
- Inside Bill’s Head
- Bill’s Modern Family
- My New Modern Family
- My Version of Modern Family
- Remarried Widower
- A Remarried Widower’s Take on His New Modern Family
- From Three to Six
- New Beginnings
- From a Widower to a Modern Family
Any of the above still seem better then “Inside the Head of a Widower with two little girls who is now remarried and the father of two little girls, a stepdaughter and a stepson”, but I need to think it through a little more.
Any comments or feedback is welcomed…I’m leaning towards either “From Three to Six”…sounds kind of cool to me… or “A Remarried Widower’s Take on His New Modern Family”…keeps the old blog theme or simply “Bill’s Blog”…which is simple, but also kind of boring.
Mother’s Day 2011
A Year Later
What a difference one year makes. Last year Mother’s Day was the lowest of the lows. Worse then the kid’s birthdays and even worse then Christmas after all it’s a day dedicated to one person…Mom. Last year Mother’s Day was rough on all of us. I can vividly recall thinking to myself that I had to make it through this and be strong for the girls, but I had reached the breaking point. My ability to remain strong and positive was dangerously close to caving in. I was a wreck on the inside even though I put on a smiley face and appeared okay on the outside.
This year Mother’s Day was very different. The girls were much happier. After all in a week we start a new journey as a new family. The wedding is one week away. I will be marrying one of my best friends. I’m also getting a stepdaughter, and a stepson, the girls are getting a stepsister, a stepbrother and a stepmom…or as the girls like to call her…Mom.
I have said this before that during a session at the Caring Place Abbie told one of the counselors that all she wanted was someone to call “Mom” again. She has that now and it makes a huge difference in her well being...a huge difference.
It’s a weird line to walk sometimes…I don’t want to disrespect the memory of Jen. I will never allow the girls to forget her and at the same time I do not want the woman whom I am marrying to feel slighted or second best, yet another thing in life that the parenting books don’t prepare you for. As we start our new journey as a family of six…I have no doubts that it will lead to some pretty interesting blog entry material.
At the end of the day as twilight was taking away the sky Abbie asked me to go with her to Mom’s tree. Abbie and I went out to visit Jen’s tree as the sun was setting. We talked to Jen. We talked about some of the special memories we shared together. We talked about what Jen was doing now, where we thought she was, if she watching, if she could hear us talking to her. We talked about cancer, dying and moving to a new house among other things. We shared some tears…we shared some hugs and we held each other and I told Abbie that it would be okay.
She got very upset and asked me what if I got sick, what if I got cancer, what if I died. I told her that I go to the doctor’s office once a year to get checked out and that I’m not going to let that happen. So here is what many people don’t get or simply don’t understand abut kids who lose a parent. Kids who lose a parent are always thinking about “what if my other parent dies”. Who will take care of us, what will happen to us? They need that extra reassurance that things are going to be okay. They need to feel safe, secure and loved. They need the reassurance…they don’t just crave it…they NEED it!
It was a bittersweet day. As I tucked her into bed she whispered in my ear that “we would be okay because we are strong and that we will make it through this”. I smiled and kissed her and told her that she was absolutely right – “we are strong and we will make it through this”. She also said that she was happy to have someone to call Mom on Mother’s day. She is an amazingly smart and strong little kid…
What a difference one year makes. Last year Mother’s Day was the lowest of the lows. Worse then the kid’s birthdays and even worse then Christmas after all it’s a day dedicated to one person…Mom. Last year Mother’s Day was rough on all of us. I can vividly recall thinking to myself that I had to make it through this and be strong for the girls, but I had reached the breaking point. My ability to remain strong and positive was dangerously close to caving in. I was a wreck on the inside even though I put on a smiley face and appeared okay on the outside.
This year Mother’s Day was very different. The girls were much happier. After all in a week we start a new journey as a new family. The wedding is one week away. I will be marrying one of my best friends. I’m also getting a stepdaughter, and a stepson, the girls are getting a stepsister, a stepbrother and a stepmom…or as the girls like to call her…Mom.
I have said this before that during a session at the Caring Place Abbie told one of the counselors that all she wanted was someone to call “Mom” again. She has that now and it makes a huge difference in her well being...a huge difference.
It’s a weird line to walk sometimes…I don’t want to disrespect the memory of Jen. I will never allow the girls to forget her and at the same time I do not want the woman whom I am marrying to feel slighted or second best, yet another thing in life that the parenting books don’t prepare you for. As we start our new journey as a family of six…I have no doubts that it will lead to some pretty interesting blog entry material.
At the end of the day as twilight was taking away the sky Abbie asked me to go with her to Mom’s tree. Abbie and I went out to visit Jen’s tree as the sun was setting. We talked to Jen. We talked about some of the special memories we shared together. We talked about what Jen was doing now, where we thought she was, if she watching, if she could hear us talking to her. We talked about cancer, dying and moving to a new house among other things. We shared some tears…we shared some hugs and we held each other and I told Abbie that it would be okay.
She got very upset and asked me what if I got sick, what if I got cancer, what if I died. I told her that I go to the doctor’s office once a year to get checked out and that I’m not going to let that happen. So here is what many people don’t get or simply don’t understand abut kids who lose a parent. Kids who lose a parent are always thinking about “what if my other parent dies”. Who will take care of us, what will happen to us? They need that extra reassurance that things are going to be okay. They need to feel safe, secure and loved. They need the reassurance…they don’t just crave it…they NEED it!
It was a bittersweet day. As I tucked her into bed she whispered in my ear that “we would be okay because we are strong and that we will make it through this”. I smiled and kissed her and told her that she was absolutely right – “we are strong and we will make it through this”. She also said that she was happy to have someone to call Mom on Mother’s day. She is an amazingly smart and strong little kid…
Dinner Conversation
Interesting Questions
How do you explain the news of Osama bin Laden’s death to a couple of smart, curious kids? It’s not as easy as you might think. This was a surprising topic of conversation at the diner table between me and my two girls. Keep in mind they are 6 and 8 years old…I was rather impressed…
Went something like this…
Kiddos: Dad, was Osama bin Laden a bad man?
Me: He was a bad man.
Kiddos: Is that why we killed him?
Me: Well, we didn’t “kill” him. The military…do you two know what the military is?
Kiddos: Yeah, it’s the army.
Me: Well, it’s more then just the army (and I explained the concept of the military and armed forces to both kids).
Me: The military had to find him so that he wouldn’t hurt any more people.
Kiddos: Well does that military get rid of all “bad” people.
Me: Good question, no they do not. But this man tried to hurt many people that live in our country and he even went as far as to have a plan that hurt and killed a bunch of people.
Kiddos: You mean the attack on the Twin Towers.
Me: (I had no idea they even knew about the 9/11) Yes, he was one of the people that came up with the plan to attack the Twin Towers.
Kiddos: Well, I’m glad he’s killed…aren’t you Dad?
Me: Well, I’m glad that he’s not hurting any more people.
Kiddo’s: Me too, I wish they would get rid of all the bad people.
It just struck me…a little funny. What a different world we live in now compared to when I was a kid. This is one of those conversations that you don’t really prep for. In what book is the chapter on how to talk to elementary age kids about global terrorism and getting rid of terrorists – or the threat of terrorist attacks and retaliation?
It makes me feel good and proud to have such curious kids who can ask intelligent questions, but also makes me sad for the state of the world that we live in now. Kids shouldn’t have to think about things like terrorist and be glad that they are dead…as I cleaned up the dishes from dinner…just make me a little sad for the world that these kids live in know as compared to when I grew up.
How do you explain the news of Osama bin Laden’s death to a couple of smart, curious kids? It’s not as easy as you might think. This was a surprising topic of conversation at the diner table between me and my two girls. Keep in mind they are 6 and 8 years old…I was rather impressed…
Went something like this…
Kiddos: Dad, was Osama bin Laden a bad man?
Me: He was a bad man.
Kiddos: Is that why we killed him?
Me: Well, we didn’t “kill” him. The military…do you two know what the military is?
Kiddos: Yeah, it’s the army.
Me: Well, it’s more then just the army (and I explained the concept of the military and armed forces to both kids).
Me: The military had to find him so that he wouldn’t hurt any more people.
Kiddos: Well does that military get rid of all “bad” people.
Me: Good question, no they do not. But this man tried to hurt many people that live in our country and he even went as far as to have a plan that hurt and killed a bunch of people.
Kiddos: You mean the attack on the Twin Towers.
Me: (I had no idea they even knew about the 9/11) Yes, he was one of the people that came up with the plan to attack the Twin Towers.
Kiddos: Well, I’m glad he’s killed…aren’t you Dad?
Me: Well, I’m glad that he’s not hurting any more people.
Kiddo’s: Me too, I wish they would get rid of all the bad people.
It just struck me…a little funny. What a different world we live in now compared to when I was a kid. This is one of those conversations that you don’t really prep for. In what book is the chapter on how to talk to elementary age kids about global terrorism and getting rid of terrorists – or the threat of terrorist attacks and retaliation?
It makes me feel good and proud to have such curious kids who can ask intelligent questions, but also makes me sad for the state of the world that we live in now. Kids shouldn’t have to think about things like terrorist and be glad that they are dead…as I cleaned up the dishes from dinner…just make me a little sad for the world that these kids live in know as compared to when I grew up.
Friday, April 15, 2011
RSVP
Quick Venting Session
Okay…I get it….or at least I think I do. I can see the confusion with letters RSVP. I think I get why many don’t reply back when asked to…it’s because many people genuinely don’t know what RSVP means.
Look up RSVP
From Wikipedia.org
In the context of social invitations, RSVP or Rsvp (or either of these with a period inserted after each letter) is a request for a response from the invited person. It is an initialism derived from the French phrase répondez s'il vous plaît, meaning "Please respond".[1] Some ambiguity can exist as to which invitees the request applies to.
SO….this explains A LOT of the confusion for me….Stupid friggin French….it’s always there fault…somehow…someway it’s always nice to place the blame on the NON-committal French.
From Dictoinary.com
verb (used without object)
1. to reply to an invitation: Don't forget to RSVP before Thursday.
–noun
2. a reply to an invitation: He sent a lovely bouquet of flowers with his RSVP.
3. (used on an invitation to indicate that the favor of a reply is requested).
I don’t really know the abbreviation means (French Blah, blah blah)…maybe in the future I will use the “Jersey” version. YFCOW – You F’ing coming or what? That way at least the folks I invited back in NJ who haven’t responded will understand.
Believe me I have been guilty of forgetting to RSVP for a kid’s birthday party a time or two, BUT I ate least called or emailed the parents and apologized.
This is NOT a kid’s birthday party at Chuck E Cheese, or Putt-Putt Golf, pizza, ice cream and juice etc. This is a wedding. The caterer needs to know how much food to prepare. How much cake to buy, drinks to prepare, how many tables to setup…you get the idea.
If you don’t RSVP and show up to the event please don’t be offended if we ask you to stand during the reception, oh, and not eat or drink…but thanks for taking part in our special day…after all we took the time to get invitations, carefully and painfully go over the guest list, negotiate back and forth as to who we invited to our small intimate affair. Stuff the envelopes, put the stamp on all the return envelopes, mail them…all we asked was to RSVP by a certain date.
Okay, I feel better now…sarcasm and humor always makes me feel better…that and making fun and picking on the French.
Okay…I get it….or at least I think I do. I can see the confusion with letters RSVP. I think I get why many don’t reply back when asked to…it’s because many people genuinely don’t know what RSVP means.
Look up RSVP
From Wikipedia.org
In the context of social invitations, RSVP or Rsvp (or either of these with a period inserted after each letter) is a request for a response from the invited person. It is an initialism derived from the French phrase répondez s'il vous plaît, meaning "Please respond".[1] Some ambiguity can exist as to which invitees the request applies to.
SO….this explains A LOT of the confusion for me….Stupid friggin French….it’s always there fault…somehow…someway it’s always nice to place the blame on the NON-committal French.
From Dictoinary.com
verb (used without object)
1. to reply to an invitation: Don't forget to RSVP before Thursday.
–noun
2. a reply to an invitation: He sent a lovely bouquet of flowers with his RSVP.
3. (used on an invitation to indicate that the favor of a reply is requested).
I don’t really know the abbreviation means (French Blah, blah blah)…maybe in the future I will use the “Jersey” version. YFCOW – You F’ing coming or what? That way at least the folks I invited back in NJ who haven’t responded will understand.
Believe me I have been guilty of forgetting to RSVP for a kid’s birthday party a time or two, BUT I ate least called or emailed the parents and apologized.
This is NOT a kid’s birthday party at Chuck E Cheese, or Putt-Putt Golf, pizza, ice cream and juice etc. This is a wedding. The caterer needs to know how much food to prepare. How much cake to buy, drinks to prepare, how many tables to setup…you get the idea.
If you don’t RSVP and show up to the event please don’t be offended if we ask you to stand during the reception, oh, and not eat or drink…but thanks for taking part in our special day…after all we took the time to get invitations, carefully and painfully go over the guest list, negotiate back and forth as to who we invited to our small intimate affair. Stuff the envelopes, put the stamp on all the return envelopes, mail them…all we asked was to RSVP by a certain date.
Okay, I feel better now…sarcasm and humor always makes me feel better…that and making fun and picking on the French.
Monday, April 11, 2011
Been a While
I have been horrible about writing lately. I want to…I really do…I tell myself that I will but then don’t. For the past two months on the nights when I can write, I find myself falling asleep on the couch watching the Pens game or a movie that I have seen a hundred times.
Random Things / Thoughts / Updates…
o I am very glad that winter is over and that the time has changed. I just hope that Mother Nature gets the memo soon…I NEED Spring to arrive and STAY here in the Burgh.
o My girls played indoor soccer this winter…it was a very cool experience…they did awesome. Their team went 0-12 – yep, lost every single game they played. Yet, they went every week and really enjoyed it. I am very proud of both of them.
o I can see changes in both the girls. They are getting bigger, older, and more mature. In some ways I am happy and grateful, in other ways I am scared as hell. They are my baby girls and seeing them get bigger and bigger is very satisfying yet somewhat frightening.
o How can these kids drive you so crazy at times…yet look so angelic when they sleep.
o I really wish the work week was four days and we had three day weekends…or at least twice a month. The amount of errands that need to be done on the weekend takes way, way too much time.
o I am getting married next month…and I am very excited about that. As are the girls…it will be nice to start a new chapter as a new family.
o A household of six (2 adults 4 kids) will be interesting and challenging…but it will be good for all six of us. In some weird “cosmic” way I really think we all need it.
o We found a house…they accepted our offer …we close week before the wedding…Have I mentioned that I can’t really focus unless my life is in overdrive…
o Things are good…they are. I still catch myself every now and then feeling sorry or a little blue…but with all the bad things happening in the world I do feel very fortunate.
o I am not a spiritual person, I don’t consider myself a particularly deep thinker, but with all the things that “I”….well “we”….have been through I am grateful to be in such a good position.
That’s it for now…a couple of folks sent me some nice messages…asking what’s going on and how we are doing…I PROMISE to write more often…I do.
It’s never as dark as it seems…and if someone had told me that 1 year ago I would have just said yeah, yeah whatever. Well folks, I have been there…trust me it will and does get better. We (the girls and I) still have our moments and I know that we always will, but the key is how you handle it.
Never underestimate your own abilities…you never know just how strong and wise you really are until times of absolute vulnerability...the hard part for me is allowing myself to be vulnerable. Be strong for your little ones…they will appreciate it so, so much.. Okay that was a little too deep for a Monday…
Random Things / Thoughts / Updates…
o I am very glad that winter is over and that the time has changed. I just hope that Mother Nature gets the memo soon…I NEED Spring to arrive and STAY here in the Burgh.
o My girls played indoor soccer this winter…it was a very cool experience…they did awesome. Their team went 0-12 – yep, lost every single game they played. Yet, they went every week and really enjoyed it. I am very proud of both of them.
o I can see changes in both the girls. They are getting bigger, older, and more mature. In some ways I am happy and grateful, in other ways I am scared as hell. They are my baby girls and seeing them get bigger and bigger is very satisfying yet somewhat frightening.
o How can these kids drive you so crazy at times…yet look so angelic when they sleep.
o I really wish the work week was four days and we had three day weekends…or at least twice a month. The amount of errands that need to be done on the weekend takes way, way too much time.
o I am getting married next month…and I am very excited about that. As are the girls…it will be nice to start a new chapter as a new family.
o A household of six (2 adults 4 kids) will be interesting and challenging…but it will be good for all six of us. In some weird “cosmic” way I really think we all need it.
o We found a house…they accepted our offer …we close week before the wedding…Have I mentioned that I can’t really focus unless my life is in overdrive…
o Things are good…they are. I still catch myself every now and then feeling sorry or a little blue…but with all the bad things happening in the world I do feel very fortunate.
o I am not a spiritual person, I don’t consider myself a particularly deep thinker, but with all the things that “I”….well “we”….have been through I am grateful to be in such a good position.
That’s it for now…a couple of folks sent me some nice messages…asking what’s going on and how we are doing…I PROMISE to write more often…I do.
It’s never as dark as it seems…and if someone had told me that 1 year ago I would have just said yeah, yeah whatever. Well folks, I have been there…trust me it will and does get better. We (the girls and I) still have our moments and I know that we always will, but the key is how you handle it.
Never underestimate your own abilities…you never know just how strong and wise you really are until times of absolute vulnerability...the hard part for me is allowing myself to be vulnerable. Be strong for your little ones…they will appreciate it so, so much.. Okay that was a little too deep for a Monday…
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
It’s Always Something
Chaos in the Morning
Mornings during the week are, well let’s just say a little crazy…well actually more like organized chaos in the house. I have two girls who are easily distracted to say the least. One is a so-so morning person, the other is a total NON-morning person and I am also a total NON-morning person. If morning started at 10:00 then I would be able to handle it…well maybe 10:30.
Getting two little girls up, dressed, fed, hair brushed, shoes on, teeth brushed, lunch made, back packs prepped, water bottles filled and ready for the bus is always quite a spectacle. This past Tuesday was a little different…
Tuesday Mayhem at the Bus Stop
Yesterday my youngest daughter tells me at the bus stop that she doesn’t feel well…the conversation went something like this
Daughter: Dad I don’t feel good
Me: You will be fine
D: No, I really don’t feel good, my stomach hurts
M: You’re okay
D: My belly hurts (with teary eyes)
M: I’m sure you will be okay once you get to school
NOW, keep in mind that the other kids are at the bus stop along with other parent figures…
D: Dad, I don’t feel good, can we go back home
M: I’m sure you will be okay.
D: (Crying) I just want to go home
M: Hey look here comes the bus (I’m thinking ah, saved by the bus)
And then the vomiting started…hit the street…splattered all over my shoes, pants etc…what a great way to start out a Tuesday morning. I had already looked at my daily calendar previously and knew that I have a day booked with meetings.
Super Dad
I got my oldest daughter on the bus and took my youngest daughter home. I cleaned her up, got her clothes changed, set her up on the couch with a bucket next to her. Hugged her, gave her a kiss on the head said “I love you kiddo” and told her it would be okay and she needed to rest.
Then I sent the “Where is Bill” email to work…I had to stay home with a sick kid. I still managed to participate in two conference calls. I answered and sent emails…I was totally in the zone. Check on daughter, threw in some laundry, emails, check on daughter, emails, calls, laundry, it was a routine but I still managed a good productive day of work and took care of a sick little one.
By the end of the day I was beat and feeling a little run down myself so I went to bed early. But not before I folded two loads of laundry and put them away. Had each girl take their bath and shower and pick out their clothes for the next day. I set the table for the morning breakfast – all and all I felt a little smug…like Super Dad.
Not So Super
The next morning everyone is up…we are actually like 5 minutes early before we have to leave for the bus stop and all is well. Until I tell the girls to get their coats on and let’s go to the bus stop. That’s when I noticed that “Super Dad” forgot one BIG thing…I forgot to wash my youngest daughter’s coat and the remnants from the previous day were still present.
NOW what…if I say something she will freak. If I don’t and one of the other kids notice she will be all embarrassed. If I do nothing then I feel like a horrible Dad. So…I grabbed a wet paper towel and told her that she had dirt on her jacket and wiped it off…and was a little dumbfounded when she said “ok Dad thanks for getting that”.
It just amazes me that no matter how much you get done…there is always something else to do…it’s just nonstop…okay...I feel better now...just needed to vent a little. Now I have to go wash puke off of a coat...
Mornings during the week are, well let’s just say a little crazy…well actually more like organized chaos in the house. I have two girls who are easily distracted to say the least. One is a so-so morning person, the other is a total NON-morning person and I am also a total NON-morning person. If morning started at 10:00 then I would be able to handle it…well maybe 10:30.
Getting two little girls up, dressed, fed, hair brushed, shoes on, teeth brushed, lunch made, back packs prepped, water bottles filled and ready for the bus is always quite a spectacle. This past Tuesday was a little different…
Tuesday Mayhem at the Bus Stop
Yesterday my youngest daughter tells me at the bus stop that she doesn’t feel well…the conversation went something like this
Daughter: Dad I don’t feel good
Me: You will be fine
D: No, I really don’t feel good, my stomach hurts
M: You’re okay
D: My belly hurts (with teary eyes)
M: I’m sure you will be okay once you get to school
NOW, keep in mind that the other kids are at the bus stop along with other parent figures…
D: Dad, I don’t feel good, can we go back home
M: I’m sure you will be okay.
D: (Crying) I just want to go home
M: Hey look here comes the bus (I’m thinking ah, saved by the bus)
And then the vomiting started…hit the street…splattered all over my shoes, pants etc…what a great way to start out a Tuesday morning. I had already looked at my daily calendar previously and knew that I have a day booked with meetings.
Super Dad
I got my oldest daughter on the bus and took my youngest daughter home. I cleaned her up, got her clothes changed, set her up on the couch with a bucket next to her. Hugged her, gave her a kiss on the head said “I love you kiddo” and told her it would be okay and she needed to rest.
Then I sent the “Where is Bill” email to work…I had to stay home with a sick kid. I still managed to participate in two conference calls. I answered and sent emails…I was totally in the zone. Check on daughter, threw in some laundry, emails, check on daughter, emails, calls, laundry, it was a routine but I still managed a good productive day of work and took care of a sick little one.
By the end of the day I was beat and feeling a little run down myself so I went to bed early. But not before I folded two loads of laundry and put them away. Had each girl take their bath and shower and pick out their clothes for the next day. I set the table for the morning breakfast – all and all I felt a little smug…like Super Dad.
Not So Super
The next morning everyone is up…we are actually like 5 minutes early before we have to leave for the bus stop and all is well. Until I tell the girls to get their coats on and let’s go to the bus stop. That’s when I noticed that “Super Dad” forgot one BIG thing…I forgot to wash my youngest daughter’s coat and the remnants from the previous day were still present.
NOW what…if I say something she will freak. If I don’t and one of the other kids notice she will be all embarrassed. If I do nothing then I feel like a horrible Dad. So…I grabbed a wet paper towel and told her that she had dirt on her jacket and wiped it off…and was a little dumbfounded when she said “ok Dad thanks for getting that”.
It just amazes me that no matter how much you get done…there is always something else to do…it’s just nonstop…okay...I feel better now...just needed to vent a little. Now I have to go wash puke off of a coat...
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