Friday, April 15, 2011


Quick Venting Session

Okay…I get it….or at least I think I do. I can see the confusion with letters RSVP. I think I get why many don’t reply back when asked to…it’s because many people genuinely don’t know what RSVP means.

Look up RSVP

In the context of social invitations, RSVP or Rsvp (or either of these with a period inserted after each letter) is a request for a response from the invited person. It is an initialism derived from the French phrase répondez s'il vous plaît, meaning "Please respond".[1] Some ambiguity can exist as to which invitees the request applies to.

SO….this explains A LOT of the confusion for me….Stupid friggin French….it’s always there fault…somehow…someway it’s always nice to place the blame on the NON-committal French.

verb (used without object)
1. to reply to an invitation: Don't forget to RSVP before Thursday.
2. a reply to an invitation: He sent a lovely bouquet of flowers with his RSVP.
3. (used on an invitation to indicate that the favor of a reply is requested).

I don’t really know the abbreviation means (French Blah, blah blah)…maybe in the future I will use the “Jersey” version. YFCOW – You F’ing coming or what? That way at least the folks I invited back in NJ who haven’t responded will understand.

Believe me I have been guilty of forgetting to RSVP for a kid’s birthday party a time or two, BUT I ate least called or emailed the parents and apologized.

This is NOT a kid’s birthday party at Chuck E Cheese, or Putt-Putt Golf, pizza, ice cream and juice etc. This is a wedding. The caterer needs to know how much food to prepare. How much cake to buy, drinks to prepare, how many tables to setup…you get the idea.

If you don’t RSVP and show up to the event please don’t be offended if we ask you to stand during the reception, oh, and not eat or drink…but thanks for taking part in our special day…after all we took the time to get invitations, carefully and painfully go over the guest list, negotiate back and forth as to who we invited to our small intimate affair. Stuff the envelopes, put the stamp on all the return envelopes, mail them…all we asked was to RSVP by a certain date.

Okay, I feel better now…sarcasm and humor always makes me feel better…that and making fun and picking on the French.


  1. This is a HUGE pet peeve of mine. But I hate "regrets" only even more. When my aunt threw me a baby shower way back when, she went with "regrets only" on the invite. I emailed her an Excel file of the guest list, and apparently she did not print out the last page or something weird happened, so a few people never got invited. But with regrets, you cannot really follow up with people, so I did not find out until the day of, when I wondered why a few did not show up (I had no idea that she never saw the last page until then).

    Some people have no clue what these things cost or how it works. I remember years ago when my cousin had a very $$$$ reception. Some guy said he was bringing a guest, but ended up not. He told the bride, "Aren't you glad I saved you 10 bucks by not bringing anyone?!" Yeah, b/c that is what it costs per person and the caterer did not need a head count or anything and is just happy to refund the money of the no-shows.

    Good luck. I hate to say it, but you are going to have to follow up with people if you really want an accurate head count.

  2. RSVP - Respondez s'il vous plait. The literal translation is "reply if you please" or, in plain English: Please reply. Unfortunately, it sounds as if many of your invited guests take the request literally and it doesn't please them to reply.

    Maybe plain English would work better, but I'm increasingly convinced that the world is filled with clueless idiots who mean well, but what can you expect from clueless idiots?

    When your girls marry, perhaps you can word it thusly: Invitation to reception expires on (stated date) if you have not replied to request a reservation. Stamp the envelope with "Dated material. Immediate reply requested."

    Best wishes for your wedding. It will surely be a beautiful and magical event.

  3. I so agree with your frustration. My wedding invitation had an RSVP that you had to choose what dinner you wanted. Fish, chicken or beef, simple right? Wedding day comes and there were about 5 people that did not RSVP and somehow they managed to get a dinner from someone that did the right thing and ordered their meal. I felt so bad for the people that had to wait longer for their meal and angry for the ones that were so inconsiderate. Anyway sorry for my rant but there has to be a better way to send out an invitation and get an answer. Happy wishes to your wedding day and your new family! Congrats!

  4. Bill, I am having a communion party for my kid. RSVP date was today and surprise, surprise, still waiting for some responses. Because the party is small (between 10 and 15 people), whether those few people come or not will make a difference in food (though I ordered assuming everyone was coming). People!

  5. I have to completely agree that is it SO frustrating when you go to all the time, the trouble and even provide the stamp, folks just don't respond. I have worked with many, many brides and have planned many events and the thing I found that works the best is to word your RSVP line to "please accept or regret by date". It is simple and seems to give a much better response rate. I know that doesn't help you now, but maybe with future party planning...Thanks for the post.


Inside Bill's Head -- Previously Known as (Inside the Head of a Grieving Single Dad)

In August of 2009 my wife Jennifer passed away from an Anaplastic Astrocytoma Brain Tumor. She was only 38 years old. She left me and our two little girls Abbie and Allie to continue life’s journey.

I promised her that I would NOT become angry and bitter about what order to do that I am attempting to write to express my thoughts and feelings.

This site is a place where I can express my thoughts, feelings and rants...