Monday, April 11, 2011

Been a While

I have been horrible about writing lately. I want to…I really do…I tell myself that I will but then don’t. For the past two months on the nights when I can write, I find myself falling asleep on the couch watching the Pens game or a movie that I have seen a hundred times.

Random Things / Thoughts / Updates…

o I am very glad that winter is over and that the time has changed. I just hope that Mother Nature gets the memo soon…I NEED Spring to arrive and STAY here in the Burgh.

o My girls played indoor soccer this winter…it was a very cool experience…they did awesome. Their team went 0-12 – yep, lost every single game they played. Yet, they went every week and really enjoyed it. I am very proud of both of them.

o I can see changes in both the girls. They are getting bigger, older, and more mature. In some ways I am happy and grateful, in other ways I am scared as hell. They are my baby girls and seeing them get bigger and bigger is very satisfying yet somewhat frightening.

o How can these kids drive you so crazy at times…yet look so angelic when they sleep.

o I really wish the work week was four days and we had three day weekends…or at least twice a month. The amount of errands that need to be done on the weekend takes way, way too much time.

o I am getting married next month…and I am very excited about that. As are the girls…it will be nice to start a new chapter as a new family.

o A household of six (2 adults 4 kids) will be interesting and challenging…but it will be good for all six of us. In some weird “cosmic” way I really think we all need it.

o We found a house…they accepted our offer …we close week before the wedding…Have I mentioned that I can’t really focus unless my life is in overdrive…

o Things are good…they are. I still catch myself every now and then feeling sorry or a little blue…but with all the bad things happening in the world I do feel very fortunate.

o I am not a spiritual person, I don’t consider myself a particularly deep thinker, but with all the things that “I”….well “we”….have been through I am grateful to be in such a good position.

That’s it for now…a couple of folks sent me some nice messages…asking what’s going on and how we are doing…I PROMISE to write more often…I do.

It’s never as dark as it seems…and if someone had told me that 1 year ago I would have just said yeah, yeah whatever. Well folks, I have been there…trust me it will and does get better. We (the girls and I) still have our moments and I know that we always will, but the key is how you handle it.

Never underestimate your own abilities…you never know just how strong and wise you really are until times of absolute vulnerability...the hard part for me is allowing myself to be vulnerable. Be strong for your little ones…they will appreciate it so, so much.. Okay that was a little too deep for a Monday…

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Inside Bill's Head -- Previously Known as (Inside the Head of a Grieving Single Dad)

In August of 2009 my wife Jennifer passed away from an Anaplastic Astrocytoma Brain Tumor. She was only 38 years old. She left me and our two little girls Abbie and Allie to continue life’s journey.

I promised her that I would NOT become angry and bitter about what order to do that I am attempting to write to express my thoughts and feelings.

This site is a place where I can express my thoughts, feelings and rants...