Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Inside Bill’s Head
Along with a new title I obviously need a new blog description.
I was a widower. I am now a remarried man. I am a husband, a Dad and a Stepdad. I lost my first wife to an Anaplastic Astrocytoma grade 3 / 4 brain tumor in 2009. It was 22 months from diagnosis to her passing away. Our daughter’s were 4 and 6 at the time.
I am now remarried to a wonderful woman who also happens to be my best friend. She has two children from a previous marriage. Now it’s the six of us starting our new journey together...the updated Brady Bunch meets Modern Family type of household. We are all different in our own little and not so little ways, but together we make a nice uniquely blended family.
I am attempting to keep things as “normal” as possible... for all six of us. My hope is that this blog helps out other people. We are all getting use to becoming a new family and dealing with the changes, the challenges and the new responsibilities involved in merging two households. If my ramblings, rants and thoughts can help someone else out…that would be good.
The Purpose Behind the Blog
Their seems to be plenty of material out there for woman who have lost their husbands, but not so much for men who have lost their wives. I also want people to know that things will improve and get better. Life will never be the same as it was before, but it will get better. If someone would have told me that 12 or 18 months ago I would thought them to be a fool…it does get better. I want people to read this and hopefully find some sort of encouragement that things can and will improve.
Everyone has their own way to cope and deal with things. There is no set schedule, no time frame, no period as to when and how long one will feel a certain way. Don’t let people tell you when and how to feel…follow your gut, instincts, mind and heart…only YOU truly know what’s best for you. I am not saying don’t listen to others. Listen and hear their advice, their words but keep in mind that no matter what other people say or think only YOU truly know what’s going on in the deep dark places within your mind and heart. It will be a rollercoaster ride. Their will be ups and downs along the way…just try not to get too far in any one direction.
Our (me and my girls) journey has been filled with challenges, some of which I have tried to share on this blog…others were kept private since they were either a little too personal or too painful to share. It’s not the things that you plan for to handle it’s the little unexpected gotcha’s that are hardest to deal with.
I have dried my share of tears from little cheeks, wrapped my arms around my girls and given the biggest hugs I can supply. I have tried to listen, comfort and explain things to the best of my ability with empathy and understanding. I have tried to put myself in their shoes (my girls) and think about how scary things are in this big, big world. But most of all I have tried to supply them with as much love as possible so that they KNOW we (All three of us) would make it through this…TOGETHER!
I said it before on this blog…I flat out REFUSE to let this be the defining moment of their young lives…FLAT OUT REFUSE!!! I will not allow them to forget their mother and how much she loved them, but I want them to understand that it’s okay to move on as well. We all have to go on…finding a proper balance is the key. It’s a fine line to walk…VERY FINE…many times…with them…with friends…with family…and with woman who I love now…my wife. I feel very fortunate to have met someone who cares so deeply for my girls. The love, caring and compassion she shows them is awesome.
I do hope this blog helps other people. I hope others who stumble upon it, read it and find at least a very small glimmer of hope…and start to think that it will get better.
Inside Bill's Head -- Previously Known as (Inside the Head of a Grieving Single Dad)
In August of 2009 my wife Jennifer passed away from an Anaplastic Astrocytoma Brain Tumor. She was only 38 years old. She left me and our two little girls Abbie and Allie to continue life’s journey.
I promised her that I would NOT become angry and bitter about what happened...in order to do that I am attempting to write to express my thoughts and feelings.
This site is a place where I can express my thoughts, feelings and rants...