The Fall
I love the Fall season. I do, the leaves change color, the temperature is perfect for wearing sweatshirts the air just feels fresh and crisp, the Fall is an awesome season. All except for the last week of October…I do not like the last week of October…
October 29, 2007
After waiting for hours in a small room at UPMC-Presby the doctors finally made their way in to speak to us. It was the day we first heard with certainty that Jen indeed had a brain tumor. It was the beginning of the day when I actually realized that life would never be the same ever again.
I can remember feeling disbelief…like their had a to be a mistake. Their was no way this is happening to us…it can’t be happening to us…it can’t. The doctor said that we needed to get a biopsy of the tumor to determine the exact type. I can remember trying to be strong but my face said it all. My thoughts went to the girls…what would happen, how would we, who would they, how could we…it was just so surreal. Jen asked the hard question that I could not “how long do I have”. The reply was cold and direct – “you’re looking at two to five years depending on how aggressive it grows”.
One thing I will never forget is the coldness in the doctor’s voice and how it all seemed so matter of fact to him…I will carry that with me forever. I needed to get Jen out of there…we drove to a park near our house and walked. We couldn’t believe what we just heard…our lives and the lives of our family were never the same after that day.
October 31, 2008
We spent a couple of grueling days at the hospital…Jen was subjected to a series of long tests for a very new experimental treatment. In a nutshell the treatment involved using your own bodies DNA to help combat the tumor…very different and very radical from the conventional treatments. We both let ourselves get somewhat optimistic…after all from a logical view this made sense, use your own bodies DNA to fight the foreign body (the tumor) inside your body.
We didn’t get home until 4:00pm after a long couple of days. The phone rang at 4:45pm…it was the doctor in charge of the new study. He was informing us that he did not think we were a good candidate for the study since the MRI done earlier that morning showed growth of the tumor. We were crushed! I can remember putting on a good tough show for Jen but inside I was just crushed.
Trick or Treating was starting at 5:30. The girls were so excited to go around the neighborhood and collect candy…and here are Jen and I sobbing together and trying desperately to hold it together. It was one of the worst moments of my life at that point. Again a moment I will never forget.
October 2009
I don’t’ have anything in particular for October 2009…honestly I was just sort of numb at that point. The first few months after Jen’s passing I was going through the motions…I honestly don’t recall that much from last year. The one thing I do remember is that I didn’t take the girls to the pumpkin patch where we use to go as a family…I just couldn’t.
October 2010
I still love the Fall…but I can’t wait for Halloween to be done and over with…I will make new memories…I will, but for now until then it’s going to be a hard few weeks. The girls wanted to go to the pumpkin patch last Sunday and I still can’t do it…I’m just not ready…
Monday, October 18, 2010
Sunday, October 17, 2010
A Classic -- Darkness on the Edge of Town
Darkness on the Edge of Town
Okay so my hockey team lost today (the Flyers) then the Phillies also were defeated...but I take solace in this. I just watched the HBO documentary "The Promise: the making of Darkness on the Edge of Town". What an awesome and inspiring hour of television. So if you are NOT a Springsteen fan...please stop reading now...
I made a list of my top 25 albums a couple of years ago and Darkness on the Edge of Town was number 1. Here is what I wrote back then...
My Personal Number One
No 1. Bruce Springsteen - Darkness on the Edge of Town (vinyl – cassette – CD)
– This album is dark and I spent countless hours of my youth, adolescence and adulthood life listening over and over. Songs about letting go, busting out and yearning for more just hit to close to home at various points in my life – “Something in Night”, “Streets of Fire”, “Racing in the Street”, “Candy’s Room”, “The Promised Land” all classic Springsteen.
It's an album that I owned as a true vinyl album...as a cassette tape and as a CD. I wasted countless hours of my youth, adolescence and even my adulthood years listening to it. It's a very dark album. Many of the songs are about coming of age, the struggles we go through and wanting to break out for "something more"...it's an awesome collection of songs.
I can't tell you how many nights me and my buddies wasted listening to that album...over and over...and how many beers we drank but it was many...and it's funny there was always one rule - NO SINGING during the playing of Darkness. It was like we just wanted to listen to the words...what was being said...if you got caught singing you were punched and were told to "shut up". Not many albums had that effect on me, but to me Darkness was like a piece of art for me and for my friends. Listening to it, as silly and ridiculous as it sounds gave me inspiration. I just knew deep down inside that I was going to break away from where I grew up and get out...and I did.
I can still recall some of the deep and meaningful conversations that were discussed and the locations while listening to that album. Hearing those songs always brings me back to a time and place from long ago. A time when things were simpler and less complex yet more confusing if that makes any sense. Even now those songs ring true for me...it's sort of like an old friend who you haven't spoke to in years and when you see each other time hasn't missed a beat. What sucks is I have some old friends that I do miss...they don't read this blog...they won't ever know...and I won't call them, but I have to believe that when they hear those songs...they have the same feelings...
Of all the songs on the album..."Something in the Night" was always my personal favorite...
Something in the Night
I'm riding down Kingsley,
figuring I'll get a drink
Turn the radio up loud,
so I don't have to think,
I take her to the floor,
looking for a moment when the world seems right,
And I tear into the guts,
of something in the night.
You're born with nothing,
and better off that way,
Soon as you've got something they send
someone to try and take it away,
You can ride this road 'till dawn,
without another human being in sight,
Just kids wasted on
something in the night.
Nothing is forgotten or forgiven,
when it's your last time around,
I got stuff running 'round my head
That I just can't live down.
When we found the things we loved,
They were crushed and dying in the dirt.
We tried to pick up the pieces,
And get away without getting hurt,
But they caught us at the state line,
And burned our cars in one last fight,
And left us running burned and blind,
Chasing something in the night.
Okay so my hockey team lost today (the Flyers) then the Phillies also were defeated...but I take solace in this. I just watched the HBO documentary "The Promise: the making of Darkness on the Edge of Town". What an awesome and inspiring hour of television. So if you are NOT a Springsteen fan...please stop reading now...
I made a list of my top 25 albums a couple of years ago and Darkness on the Edge of Town was number 1. Here is what I wrote back then...
My Personal Number One
No 1. Bruce Springsteen - Darkness on the Edge of Town (vinyl – cassette – CD)
– This album is dark and I spent countless hours of my youth, adolescence and adulthood life listening over and over. Songs about letting go, busting out and yearning for more just hit to close to home at various points in my life – “Something in Night”, “Streets of Fire”, “Racing in the Street”, “Candy’s Room”, “The Promised Land” all classic Springsteen.
It's an album that I owned as a true vinyl album...as a cassette tape and as a CD. I wasted countless hours of my youth, adolescence and even my adulthood years listening to it. It's a very dark album. Many of the songs are about coming of age, the struggles we go through and wanting to break out for "something more"...it's an awesome collection of songs.
I can't tell you how many nights me and my buddies wasted listening to that album...over and over...and how many beers we drank but it was many...and it's funny there was always one rule - NO SINGING during the playing of Darkness. It was like we just wanted to listen to the words...what was being said...if you got caught singing you were punched and were told to "shut up". Not many albums had that effect on me, but to me Darkness was like a piece of art for me and for my friends. Listening to it, as silly and ridiculous as it sounds gave me inspiration. I just knew deep down inside that I was going to break away from where I grew up and get out...and I did.
I can still recall some of the deep and meaningful conversations that were discussed and the locations while listening to that album. Hearing those songs always brings me back to a time and place from long ago. A time when things were simpler and less complex yet more confusing if that makes any sense. Even now those songs ring true for me...it's sort of like an old friend who you haven't spoke to in years and when you see each other time hasn't missed a beat. What sucks is I have some old friends that I do miss...they don't read this blog...they won't ever know...and I won't call them, but I have to believe that when they hear those songs...they have the same feelings...
Of all the songs on the album..."Something in the Night" was always my personal favorite...
Something in the Night
I'm riding down Kingsley,
figuring I'll get a drink
Turn the radio up loud,
so I don't have to think,
I take her to the floor,
looking for a moment when the world seems right,
And I tear into the guts,
of something in the night.
You're born with nothing,
and better off that way,
Soon as you've got something they send
someone to try and take it away,
You can ride this road 'till dawn,
without another human being in sight,
Just kids wasted on
something in the night.
Nothing is forgotten or forgiven,
when it's your last time around,
I got stuff running 'round my head
That I just can't live down.
When we found the things we loved,
They were crushed and dying in the dirt.
We tried to pick up the pieces,
And get away without getting hurt,
But they caught us at the state line,
And burned our cars in one last fight,
And left us running burned and blind,
Chasing something in the night.
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Unsettling Dream
So I had an interesting dream the other night and I have been thinking as to whether or not to write about it…so here it goes.
I was in a dimly lit room and Jen was there. She didn’t seem her usual self. I could tell that something was bothering her. We talked for a few minutes about nothing in particular, I don’t even remember really, then out of the blue said to me “that it should have been me that died and not her”.
Her comment threw me for a loop…just hearing her say that. Then I remember seeing a door in the room and it had a bright light coming from underneath it. She told me to follow her into the other room, through the door. We walked into the room and it was even darker then the room that we were just in.
The room had a small wooden square table and two wooden chairs in it. I sat down in one of the chairs and Jen handed me a cup and a pill and told me to take it. By taking the pill we would switch places and she would come back and I would be dead.
I remember being confused and surprised and said “no, that I would not take the pill”. She became agitated and started getting very upset. I could hear voices in the room but couldn’t see anyone else. She demanded that I take the pill and again I said “no”. I could see the fury and anger in her face…the blackness of the room…the voice were coming from all directions, I got up from the chair but the door to the room was gone.
I turned around and Jen was standing right next to me and she was very upset and said “TAKE IT”…then I woke up.
It was a vivid, unsettling dream. I woke up at 2:37am. I had beads of sweat on my forehead, my heart was pounding. I got up and went and checked on the girls, they were both fast asleep. I don’t know what in the hell that was all about…maybe watching the movie “the Fourth Kind” on HBO before bed didn’t help.
I was in a dimly lit room and Jen was there. She didn’t seem her usual self. I could tell that something was bothering her. We talked for a few minutes about nothing in particular, I don’t even remember really, then out of the blue said to me “that it should have been me that died and not her”.
Her comment threw me for a loop…just hearing her say that. Then I remember seeing a door in the room and it had a bright light coming from underneath it. She told me to follow her into the other room, through the door. We walked into the room and it was even darker then the room that we were just in.
The room had a small wooden square table and two wooden chairs in it. I sat down in one of the chairs and Jen handed me a cup and a pill and told me to take it. By taking the pill we would switch places and she would come back and I would be dead.
I remember being confused and surprised and said “no, that I would not take the pill”. She became agitated and started getting very upset. I could hear voices in the room but couldn’t see anyone else. She demanded that I take the pill and again I said “no”. I could see the fury and anger in her face…the blackness of the room…the voice were coming from all directions, I got up from the chair but the door to the room was gone.
I turned around and Jen was standing right next to me and she was very upset and said “TAKE IT”…then I woke up.
It was a vivid, unsettling dream. I woke up at 2:37am. I had beads of sweat on my forehead, my heart was pounding. I got up and went and checked on the girls, they were both fast asleep. I don’t know what in the hell that was all about…maybe watching the movie “the Fourth Kind” on HBO before bed didn’t help.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Recent Conversations
I haven’t done this in a long time…don’t anyone be offended, it’s all good harmless humor
The Setup -- Madonna’s “Like a Virgin” is playing on the radio.
Abbie – What’s a virgin?
Me – Uh, someone who is very pure
Abbie – Oh, then I’m a virgin because I’m pure.
Me – Right…uh yes you are
Allie – Well I’m pure so I guess I’m a virgin
Abbie – Well, you’re a virgin too Dad because you are pure
Me – Well…sure…uh….
And with that I turned the radio station to a different song. I went upstairs for a minute and don’t you know what songs comes on next – “I want your sex” by George Michael.
Abbie – Hey dad what does
Me – DON”T WORRY about it.
Allie was just looking confused…
AND WITH THAT…I turned the radio to Radio Disney…
The Setup – Watching the Steelers / Ravens game last Sunday
The show a picture of Ray Lewis yelling and screaming on the field
Abbie – Dad that man looks crazy
Allie – Yeah, he looks like a bad guy alright
Me – Yep, he is a bad guy
Abbie – I like the purple uniforms though
Allie – Yeah, purple is cool
Just funny how kids see and what they find so innocent and fun
The Setup – Eating dinner and discussing the day
Me – So Kiddos how was your day?
Allie – Good
Abbie – Good
Me – Well what did you learn in school today?
Allie – Nothing
Abbie – Well {name of boy} can’t fit his knees or legs under his desk because he’s too fat
Me – Hey, don’t say he’s fat, some folks are big and besides would you like someone calling you fat.
Abbie – Sorry Dad he {name of boy} is just really um, really…well he’s really
Allie – OVERFED
Abbie – Yeah, good one Allie, he’s overfed
Me – (me trying not to crack up) okay, he’s overfed just don’t say fat okay
Allie – Okay Dad
Abbie – Got it
And with that every time the girls see a “big” person on TV they say “hey, look how overfed that person is”.
Breakfast for Dinner
I have instituted a new thing in the house – once every two or three weeks we have pancakes for dinner.
Abbie – Alright, pancakes for dinner
Allie – You’re the best Dad ever
Abbie – Yeah, You’re the best Dad
Allie – Hey, since we are having breakfast for dinner tonight, can we have chicken nuggets for breakfast tomorrow morning.
Abbie – Yeah Dad can we?
Me – Uh, no…but nice try
Allie – Oh man, you’re so unfair
Me – WHAT, I thought I was the best Dad ever?
Abbie – Oh that’s old news now
WHERE do these kids get this quick wit from?
By far the best…at least for me but a little sappy…
After we attended Open House at the school – I was tucking them in for bed
Me – that was cool girls, I love your classrooms
Abbie – Thanks Dad
Allie – Thanks, oh and Dad
Me – Yeah, what’s up Kiddo
Allie – I’m glad you’re my Dad
Abbie – Me too Dad…you’re a cool Dad
Just melts my heart…
Random Comments
Abbie, on her hair
– “Does my hair look fierce? I just don’t think my hair looks fierce enough”.
Allie, on responding to me, Abbie or basically anyone else
– “Oh, you don’t know what I got”.
Me after they get done taking a shower and/or bath
– “Girls, for the tenth time will you please put some clothes on”
Never a dull moment raising two little crazy girls...but they are awesome kids...
The Setup -- Madonna’s “Like a Virgin” is playing on the radio.
Abbie – What’s a virgin?
Me – Uh, someone who is very pure
Abbie – Oh, then I’m a virgin because I’m pure.
Me – Right…uh yes you are
Allie – Well I’m pure so I guess I’m a virgin
Abbie – Well, you’re a virgin too Dad because you are pure
Me – Well…sure…uh….
And with that I turned the radio station to a different song. I went upstairs for a minute and don’t you know what songs comes on next – “I want your sex” by George Michael.
Abbie – Hey dad what does
Me – DON”T WORRY about it.
Allie was just looking confused…
AND WITH THAT…I turned the radio to Radio Disney…
The Setup – Watching the Steelers / Ravens game last Sunday
The show a picture of Ray Lewis yelling and screaming on the field
Abbie – Dad that man looks crazy
Allie – Yeah, he looks like a bad guy alright
Me – Yep, he is a bad guy
Abbie – I like the purple uniforms though
Allie – Yeah, purple is cool
Just funny how kids see and what they find so innocent and fun
The Setup – Eating dinner and discussing the day
Me – So Kiddos how was your day?
Allie – Good
Abbie – Good
Me – Well what did you learn in school today?
Allie – Nothing
Abbie – Well {name of boy} can’t fit his knees or legs under his desk because he’s too fat
Me – Hey, don’t say he’s fat, some folks are big and besides would you like someone calling you fat.
Abbie – Sorry Dad he {name of boy} is just really um, really…well he’s really
Allie – OVERFED
Abbie – Yeah, good one Allie, he’s overfed
Me – (me trying not to crack up) okay, he’s overfed just don’t say fat okay
Allie – Okay Dad
Abbie – Got it
And with that every time the girls see a “big” person on TV they say “hey, look how overfed that person is”.
Breakfast for Dinner
I have instituted a new thing in the house – once every two or three weeks we have pancakes for dinner.
Abbie – Alright, pancakes for dinner
Allie – You’re the best Dad ever
Abbie – Yeah, You’re the best Dad
Allie – Hey, since we are having breakfast for dinner tonight, can we have chicken nuggets for breakfast tomorrow morning.
Abbie – Yeah Dad can we?
Me – Uh, no…but nice try
Allie – Oh man, you’re so unfair
Me – WHAT, I thought I was the best Dad ever?
Abbie – Oh that’s old news now
WHERE do these kids get this quick wit from?
By far the best…at least for me but a little sappy…
After we attended Open House at the school – I was tucking them in for bed
Me – that was cool girls, I love your classrooms
Abbie – Thanks Dad
Allie – Thanks, oh and Dad
Me – Yeah, what’s up Kiddo
Allie – I’m glad you’re my Dad
Abbie – Me too Dad…you’re a cool Dad
Just melts my heart…
Random Comments
Abbie, on her hair
– “Does my hair look fierce? I just don’t think my hair looks fierce enough”.
Allie, on responding to me, Abbie or basically anyone else
– “Oh, you don’t know what I got”.
Me after they get done taking a shower and/or bath
– “Girls, for the tenth time will you please put some clothes on”
Never a dull moment raising two little crazy girls...but they are awesome kids...
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Okay so here is Part Two
Part Two
As I said, the summer was good, very good. We all kept busy and it was filled with non-stop activities. Well, a funny and very unexpected thing also happened over the summer…I started spending a lot of time with a certain someone special. Now, understand that this was unplanned and unexpected. Yeah, I went out on a few dates with people and let’s just say the results were very mixed. Then I started spending a lot of time with this certain someone special and things just sort of went from there.
It’s weird, those who know me well, know that I am never at a loss for words, but I am struggling with what and how much to say here. The girls have been very receptive because they already knew this person and her kids. They have played together in the past, gone to movies and have had sleepovers so things have been easy from that viewpoint. We have been taking things slow and are attempting to be as smart as possible about all of this.
A couple of things
I am NOT “naming” this person…some of you already know anyway…and some will be totally surprised. I am not naming her out of respect for her. She is also going through a divorce, which many folks don’t know about.
Here is the deal…I am happy…for the first time in a long time I feel good, I feel happy and for lack of better words I feel “alive”. I haven’t been able to say that for a while. Through the illness, the aftermath, it’s just been a while and it takes its toll on you, mentally and emotionally. I feel good about myself, about the future, about this new relationship.
This is a person that I have known for years. I will completely open an honest here…it feels good to be wanted…needed…to be happy. This past summer could have gone a number of different ways. I didn’t plan or intend for things to happen the way they did, but sometimes even, I have to forgo the plan and just wing it. I am happy people…very happy and it has everything to do with this person.
As I said, the summer was good, very good. We all kept busy and it was filled with non-stop activities. Well, a funny and very unexpected thing also happened over the summer…I started spending a lot of time with a certain someone special. Now, understand that this was unplanned and unexpected. Yeah, I went out on a few dates with people and let’s just say the results were very mixed. Then I started spending a lot of time with this certain someone special and things just sort of went from there.
It’s weird, those who know me well, know that I am never at a loss for words, but I am struggling with what and how much to say here. The girls have been very receptive because they already knew this person and her kids. They have played together in the past, gone to movies and have had sleepovers so things have been easy from that viewpoint. We have been taking things slow and are attempting to be as smart as possible about all of this.
A couple of things
I am NOT “naming” this person…some of you already know anyway…and some will be totally surprised. I am not naming her out of respect for her. She is also going through a divorce, which many folks don’t know about.
Here is the deal…I am happy…for the first time in a long time I feel good, I feel happy and for lack of better words I feel “alive”. I haven’t been able to say that for a while. Through the illness, the aftermath, it’s just been a while and it takes its toll on you, mentally and emotionally. I feel good about myself, about the future, about this new relationship.
This is a person that I have known for years. I will completely open an honest here…it feels good to be wanted…needed…to be happy. This past summer could have gone a number of different ways. I didn’t plan or intend for things to happen the way they did, but sometimes even, I have to forgo the plan and just wing it. I am happy people…very happy and it has everything to do with this person.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Been a While
I haven’t blogged in a while…I have a few different reasons why.
Part One
Where to Begin…
First of all I have just been extremely busy. The end of August included a trip back to New Jersey to see some of my family and some old friends, my oldest daughter’s birthday party, the beginning of school and also the start of soccer season. It also marked one year since Jen’s passing. The good news is that everything seemed to work out well. Sometimes the crazier things are…the easier things get…if that makes any sense.
The trip back to NJ was great. We spent a day at the beach, went into historical Philadelphia to see Independence Hall, the Liberty Bell, the US Mint, the Second Bank, Betsy Ross’s House, Christ Church and took a horse drawn carriage ride through Society Hill, everyone really enjoyed the day. Abbie’s birthday party was really nice and luckily for us the weather cooperated and it was a beautiful sunny day. It was a busy, busy summer and a very good summer.
On a Different Note
A couple of months ago I threw my hat in the ring for the position of Software Director of Core Products at the company that I have worked for the past 7.5 years. I submitted my resume, interviewed, gave a presentation to upper management and was then offered the job. This is a crowning moment in my professional career.
It’s something that I wanted to accomplish by the time I was 45, so I exceeded my goal. It’s something that yes, I planned for in my early 30’s and did it! It’s no big secret that Jen and I were big “planners” and always discussed things, made lists and planned for the future…or at least the best we could. I think it’s important to have goals and a plan on how to accomplish them.
I do NOT intend for this to sound arrogant or cocky at all but considering my very humble upbringing I am very proud of myself for accomplishing this goal. The only thing is that it sort of feels…empty.
I can still vividly remember the conversation that I had with Jen when I set my goal to become a director by the time I was 45. It was on the roof of Six Penn Kitchen, a restaurant in downtown Pittsburgh. We were enjoying a kid-free night out on the town and sat at a table on the roof on roof of this restaurant and we were discussing the next 5-10 years of our lives...it’s funny how much things have changed.
School Starts
As good as the summer was, I was looking forward to the start of school. I like the routine…well; actually, I NEED the routine! Go to bed at a certain time, wake up at a certain time, I like and crave structure...big surprise I know. I still find it hard to believe at times that I have a daughter in first grade and a daughter in third grade. They both enjoy school which makes it all that much better. They are awesome kids!
Part Two
I will write Part Two tomorrow or over the weekend…since I have a worse attention span then my kids I don’t want to write paragraph after paragraph and go on and on. I will say that earlier this week I retuned from a trip to California, to see San Francisco. It was a great trip…more on that later.
I appreciate the emails that I received from people asking me how I was doing and why I wasn’t blogging. I didn’t realize how many people actually read this blog so that was pretty cool. We (the girls and I) are doing okay and I will make every attempt to not let weeks go by without writing an entry.
Part One
Where to Begin…
First of all I have just been extremely busy. The end of August included a trip back to New Jersey to see some of my family and some old friends, my oldest daughter’s birthday party, the beginning of school and also the start of soccer season. It also marked one year since Jen’s passing. The good news is that everything seemed to work out well. Sometimes the crazier things are…the easier things get…if that makes any sense.
The trip back to NJ was great. We spent a day at the beach, went into historical Philadelphia to see Independence Hall, the Liberty Bell, the US Mint, the Second Bank, Betsy Ross’s House, Christ Church and took a horse drawn carriage ride through Society Hill, everyone really enjoyed the day. Abbie’s birthday party was really nice and luckily for us the weather cooperated and it was a beautiful sunny day. It was a busy, busy summer and a very good summer.
On a Different Note
A couple of months ago I threw my hat in the ring for the position of Software Director of Core Products at the company that I have worked for the past 7.5 years. I submitted my resume, interviewed, gave a presentation to upper management and was then offered the job. This is a crowning moment in my professional career.
It’s something that I wanted to accomplish by the time I was 45, so I exceeded my goal. It’s something that yes, I planned for in my early 30’s and did it! It’s no big secret that Jen and I were big “planners” and always discussed things, made lists and planned for the future…or at least the best we could. I think it’s important to have goals and a plan on how to accomplish them.
I do NOT intend for this to sound arrogant or cocky at all but considering my very humble upbringing I am very proud of myself for accomplishing this goal. The only thing is that it sort of feels…empty.
I can still vividly remember the conversation that I had with Jen when I set my goal to become a director by the time I was 45. It was on the roof of Six Penn Kitchen, a restaurant in downtown Pittsburgh. We were enjoying a kid-free night out on the town and sat at a table on the roof on roof of this restaurant and we were discussing the next 5-10 years of our lives...it’s funny how much things have changed.
School Starts
As good as the summer was, I was looking forward to the start of school. I like the routine…well; actually, I NEED the routine! Go to bed at a certain time, wake up at a certain time, I like and crave structure...big surprise I know. I still find it hard to believe at times that I have a daughter in first grade and a daughter in third grade. They both enjoy school which makes it all that much better. They are awesome kids!
Part Two
I will write Part Two tomorrow or over the weekend…since I have a worse attention span then my kids I don’t want to write paragraph after paragraph and go on and on. I will say that earlier this week I retuned from a trip to California, to see San Francisco. It was a great trip…more on that later.
I appreciate the emails that I received from people asking me how I was doing and why I wasn’t blogging. I didn’t realize how many people actually read this blog so that was pretty cool. We (the girls and I) are doing okay and I will make every attempt to not let weeks go by without writing an entry.
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Stupid FB
As stupid as it sounds...this is a very monumental milestone for me... I changed my FaceBook status tonight. It sounds so silly and minor yet I waited a year to do it.
Here are the messages you get when you change your status.
Status change to Widowed:
Your relationship with Jennifer Heid Applegate will be canceled upon saving.
Why...WHY does this bother me so much...I don't want to cancel my relationship...I just think it's a very poor choice of words. My "relationship" will never be cancelled...because I have two amazing children whom I wouldn't have if not for my wife.
OR
You can change your status to Blank and here is the message:
We will request confirmation of this relationship change from Jennifer Heid Applegate upon saving.
Yeah, you can request all you want...my wife died...you won't be receiving a conformation request from her.
Again, very insensitive...and a little frustrating...whatever...maybe I'm reading way too much into it...it's been a year...it's been a year...
Here are the messages you get when you change your status.
Status change to Widowed:
Your relationship with Jennifer Heid Applegate will be canceled upon saving.
Why...WHY does this bother me so much...I don't want to cancel my relationship...I just think it's a very poor choice of words. My "relationship" will never be cancelled...because I have two amazing children whom I wouldn't have if not for my wife.
OR
You can change your status to Blank and here is the message:
We will request confirmation of this relationship change from Jennifer Heid Applegate upon saving.
Yeah, you can request all you want...my wife died...you won't be receiving a conformation request from her.
Again, very insensitive...and a little frustrating...whatever...maybe I'm reading way too much into it...it's been a year...it's been a year...
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