Thursday, October 14, 2010
I was in a dimly lit room and Jen was there. She didn’t seem her usual self. I could tell that something was bothering her. We talked for a few minutes about nothing in particular, I don’t even remember really, then out of the blue said to me “that it should have been me that died and not her”.
Her comment threw me for a loop…just hearing her say that. Then I remember seeing a door in the room and it had a bright light coming from underneath it. She told me to follow her into the other room, through the door. We walked into the room and it was even darker then the room that we were just in.
The room had a small wooden square table and two wooden chairs in it. I sat down in one of the chairs and Jen handed me a cup and a pill and told me to take it. By taking the pill we would switch places and she would come back and I would be dead.
I remember being confused and surprised and said “no, that I would not take the pill”. She became agitated and started getting very upset. I could hear voices in the room but couldn’t see anyone else. She demanded that I take the pill and again I said “no”. I could see the fury and anger in her face…the blackness of the room…the voice were coming from all directions, I got up from the chair but the door to the room was gone.
I turned around and Jen was standing right next to me and she was very upset and said “TAKE IT”…then I woke up.
It was a vivid, unsettling dream. I woke up at 2:37am. I had beads of sweat on my forehead, my heart was pounding. I got up and went and checked on the girls, they were both fast asleep. I don’t know what in the hell that was all about…maybe watching the movie “the Fourth Kind” on HBO before bed didn’t help.
Inside Bill's Head -- Previously Known as (Inside the Head of a Grieving Single Dad)
In August of 2009 my wife Jennifer passed away from an Anaplastic Astrocytoma Brain Tumor. She was only 38 years old. She left me and our two little girls Abbie and Allie to continue life’s journey.
I promised her that I would NOT become angry and bitter about what happened...in order to do that I am attempting to write to express my thoughts and feelings.
This site is a place where I can express my thoughts, feelings and rants...