Saturday, May 22, 2010
Put on a Happy Face
For those of you who don't live in the Burgh, Kennywood is a family friendly amusement park. It's not big, it doesn't have out of the world rides, but it's the best amusement park I have ever been to. Why, because it's all about family entertainment and family fun.
The Kangaroo is one of the oldest rides at Kennywood. It's not scary, it's not fast, it's not flashy, it's a ride that is just fun to ride for people of all ages. Four people can ride in one car so the "typical" family can all ride together and just enjoy it.
The Kangaroo was the first ride the Jen took me on for my first visit to Kennywood. It was also the first ride that we took Abbie and Allie on outside of "Kiddieland" and the first ride that we rode as a family of four. It was also the first ride that we would go on every time we went to Kennywood. It was this silly little tradition that we started that seemed so "whatever" at the time, but matters so much now.
First Trip Since...
When we entered the park today, it was cool that BOTH girls said, "We have to ride the Kangaroo first". I smiled and said, "Yep, we sure do". We got to the Kangaroo...and it was closed for repairs. This was the first time we have been to Kennywood since Jen died and the Kangaroo was closed. In some ways it was very fitting...in other ways it was just too surreal.
The memories of walking around the same places and rides that Jen rode as a kid and that we took the girls on together starting flashing into my mind. I put on a happy face for the girls sake, but it was a tough day. Which of course then made me start friggin thinking...
Maybe a Fresh Start Would Do Some Good
I don't know...maybe I do need a fresh start. Maybe going somewhere new would be good, not that the memories are bad or haunting because they are NOT and I don't want to give the wrong idea, but they are there. Maybe somewhere new would be good...the opportunity to make new memories might not be a bad thing.
I was also asked today - "so where is your wife". I had to think for a minute just how to answer. I so wish I could say, "She's with my other daughter on a ride" or "she couldn't make it" or "she's working". Instead, I said "she passed away last summer" and the look on the persons face said it all. Whew...wow...I friggin hate this...I really do...this is just not what I envisioned life to be...I just never in all my wildest dreams figured I would be where I am now. I know this entry sounds a little pathetic...but I ran the full range of emotions today. From sad to angry to happy...I will move because that's what I do...it was just a tough, tough day.
Inside Bill's Head -- Previously Known as (Inside the Head of a Grieving Single Dad)
In August of 2009 my wife Jennifer passed away from an Anaplastic Astrocytoma Brain Tumor. She was only 38 years old. She left me and our two little girls Abbie and Allie to continue life’s journey.
I promised her that I would NOT become angry and bitter about what happened...in order to do that I am attempting to write to express my thoughts and feelings.
This site is a place where I can express my thoughts, feelings and rants...