Monday, December 20, 2010
December and What I Don’t Miss
Jen was an up and coming Senior Associate attorney in her firm. She was well liked, respected and worked extremely hard. One thing that I will not miss is the extreme stress that December brought to our household. As an up and coming attorney she had to make her billing hours quota and December is an extremely busy time for a law firm. It’s all about hours billed…and her firm was no different.
In no way am I slamming her firm…the truth of the matter is that ALL law firms are like that…it’s all about Billable Hours. Starting in mid-November we (the girls and I) wouldn’t see much of her. She worked very long hours and the weekend. She routinely got home after I went to bed at 11:00pm. She missed out on the chaos of making dinner, feeding the girls, giving baths and the bed time routine. It was hard and put a LOT of stress on our marriage.
At one point I actually suspected she might be having an affair because she was never home before midnight. Sometimes it would be 1:00am, 2:00am, I just couldn’t imagine anyone wanting or putting up with working that much, but she did. We would call her at 8:00pm when the girls were going to bed and I would call her at 11:00pm or whatever time I went to bed and she was always there working. I dismissed the affair theory when I went to my first Holiday dinner party given by the Firm and quickly found out that this was common practice for ALL the attorneys in the firm regardless of the age, status, title, they all worked these insane hours...ALL of them and came to accept it.
I do not and would not advise anyone to become a lawyer unless they intend to never marry and certainly not if they intend to have children. The stress that the profession puts on a marriage is flat out awful. When the girls talk about when they want to be when they grow up they always say they want to be a lawyer like Mom, for now I just let it go.
Later on after Jen was diagnosed; we talked about it (her and I) and how much she regretted missing out on things with the girls. How she would give anything to have that time back. Kids grow so fast…you blink and they have grown two inches and are an entire different size bigger in clothes. Their likes and dislikes change. Their looks, mannerisms and vocabulary…they are only little once.
I’m not trying to be a “downer” I’m not. I just want people to realize that December is friggin nuts. The Holiday season is crazy…we ALL get caught up in it…ALL OF US…take a minute to stop and slow down. Don’t forget the little things and the little ones… those smiling little faces get big quick and soon enough they have their own busy social calendars and schedules…
I hope everyone has a safe and enjoyable holiday season
Inside Bill's Head -- Previously Known as (Inside the Head of a Grieving Single Dad)
In August of 2009 my wife Jennifer passed away from an Anaplastic Astrocytoma Brain Tumor. She was only 38 years old. She left me and our two little girls Abbie and Allie to continue life’s journey.
I promised her that I would NOT become angry and bitter about what happened...in order to do that I am attempting to write to express my thoughts and feelings.
This site is a place where I can express my thoughts, feelings and rants...