Monday, November 15, 2010
Someone asked me what my thoughts were and honestly…I just don’t know quite yet. There are things I so desperately want to believe, but I’m attempting to be logical and differentiate between wanting to believe and desperately seeking a conclusion.
I truly hope there is something out there other then mankind, because I would like to think there is more than just us, but if that’s the case I have many, many questions. Some of those questions actually make me quite angry and then I question everything all over again.
I am fully aware that I am not the first person to suffer such a close loss and go through something like this, but I think for those who have…to experience it first hand, your thoughts would / might be a little different in all frankness.
Some of the folks at the Caring Place have talked about it open and honestly. Some are….were very religious, but since their loved one was taken away, they feel very different and angry about God and what’s next. Going through this experience changes you…it makes you look at things in a way and manner that other people don’t get and most likely never will.
I am doing my best to remain neutral on the subject matter of God and religion. My oldest daughter really enjoys going to church with some close friends on Sunday mornings. I do not discourage her to attend nor do I encourage her…it’s her decision…her choice. She has asked me why I don’t go, or want to go to church and I tell her that we will have that discussion someday when she’s older. She looks at me in such a manner that I think she knows why and just smiles and says okay.
I’m still formulating my opinion…I’m still on this journey we call “life” and don’t know how to answer yet. I appreciate the views and perspectives…I do…as for now I’m just going to keep my most inner thoughts to myself…for now that is where they belong.
Inside Bill's Head -- Previously Known as (Inside the Head of a Grieving Single Dad)
In August of 2009 my wife Jennifer passed away from an Anaplastic Astrocytoma Brain Tumor. She was only 38 years old. She left me and our two little girls Abbie and Allie to continue life’s journey.
I promised her that I would NOT become angry and bitter about what happened...in order to do that I am attempting to write to express my thoughts and feelings.
This site is a place where I can express my thoughts, feelings and rants...